1. 본 포스팅은 영어기사를 제대로 들어다보는 시간입니다.
2. 본 포스팅의 출처는 "오성호" 선생님의 Live Class 강의를 기반으로 했음을 밝혀 드립니다.
오성호 영어채널 : 네이버 카페
오성호 영어채널
cafe.naver.com
* over : 쟁점, 이견, 논란
* a controversy over
# My husband, in-laws and parents had all gathered in my parents’ formal living room in Dallas that evening for a kind of intervention, hoping they could talk me out of ending my marriage. “I just don’t understand it. He took you to five countries,” my mother-in-law said. “Is that not enough?” “He takes care of you,” my mother added. “He gives you everything.” I hung my head, staring at the floral swirls of the Persian rug beneath my feet. My father-in-law suggested I was unhappy because my husband was not a doctor, as I am, while my own father wondered if I had met someone else.
* My husband, in-laws : 시댁 식구들
* had all gathered : 첫번째 문장의 과거완료면 뒤의 문장들은 모두 과거로 나옴 => ~인 상태
* formal = traditional
* a kind of 일종의 = something like
* Talk me out of it. 니가 말만 잘 하면 내가 안 할 수도 있어 (나를 단념시켜 봐)
* He talked me into it. 나를 꼬시다
* into / out of --- to do / from ~ing
* takes care of : 현재시제는 always의 느낌이 있음
* swirl 소용돌이
* suggest : 약한 느낌 (확실하지 않다) = 혹시 ~가 아닌가 => 결혼은 propose
* suggestion 제안도 되지만 그 사람의 opinion
# Although my husband and I had been separated for months, my decision to go through with ending our marriage came across as outlandish to our families. I had anticipated pushback; divorce remains uncommon among South Asians, even in the diaspora. A woman initiating it is even more taboo. And ending a marriage on the grounds I was claiming — a lack of emotional intimacy — surely struck my survivalist Pakistani immigrant parents and in-laws as nonsensical.
* had been separated : ~ 인 상태
* go through with : 관통의 느낌, 경험의 느낌
I've been through a lot. 산전수전 다 겪다
* go through the report 자세히 검토하다
* go ahead with (the plan) 할까말까 망설이다가 계획을 실행에 옮기다 = 시작의 느낌
* 인상을 주다 : A라는 게 어떤 인상을 주다, 느낌을 받다 => impress => come off as ~ 어딘가 붙어져 있다가 떨어지면 자국이 남아 있다(as이하라는 인상을 주다) => come across as ~ == 쉽게 쓰면 feel like~
* outlandish 생소한
* had anticipated 예상했던 상태였다.
* push back 반발, 저항, 반대
* diaspora 해외동포
a large group of people who come from a particular place and are now living in many different parts of the world
the connections between Israel and the Jewish diaspora
* grounds : 근거
* on the grounds ~ 를 근거로
* on = on the back of ~ 때문에, 덕분에 (*그 등에 올라타 있음)
* claim 일방적 주장의 느낌
* lack : 부재 = 없는 것
* intimacy 친밀감
* strike A as B : A에게 B라는 인상을 주다
* His idea struck me as odd. 말도 안 된다는 인상을 받았다
* nonsensical = make no sense = crazy, absurd
* survivalist ~ 하는 사람들X => survivalim을 갖고 있는 (형용사) 느낌 => 당장의 서바이벌이 중요한
# They came from families that crossed the India-Pakistan border under the cover of night, leaving behind homes and wealth, to establish themselves in a new country. Couldn’t I learn to live with a somewhat lackluster marriage?
* under the cover of night 야밤을 틈타
* establish 설립/확립 X => 자리를 잡다
* the establishment 기득권층 = the elites
* luster 반짝반짝 빛나는 것
* luster
* lust : great enthusiasm for something
* lackluster 밋밋한
* live with 함께 살다(물리적 동거), 감수하다(accept), 참고 살아가다.
I have to live with it. 어떡하겠어? 감수하고 살아야지.
* 부정으로 물어볼 때는...
Couldn’t I learn to live with it = You could live with that, couldn't you? 그 정도는 감수해야지, 안 그래? (물어보는 게 아님)
Aren't you hungry? = You're hungry, aren't you? 너 배고프잖아, 안 그래? (확인사살? 이미 화자의 확신이 있음)
진짜 물어볼 때는 이렇게 물어봄
Are you not hungry? 정말 많이 배고파? (그렇게 먹었는데)
# Marriage, for them, served a utilitarian purpose as the unit of stability that built a greater society based on commonalities of cultural group, religious sect and family backgrounds. Love was merely a fortunate byproduct. My husband and I belonged to the same demographics, but love didn’t flourish in the three years we were married. He tried planning exotic vacations; at my behest, we tried counseling. We moved closer to family. Little changed.
* serve : 도움 / 역할 (외우세요!)
* serve a purpose 이런 목적에 부합하다
* utilitarian = practical 현실적인, 쓸모있는 = useful
She is being too romantic / ideal / unrealistic about marriage.
* the unit of stability = the stable unit 안정적인 단위
* a greater society : society (사회X) 공동체
* greater : 위대한 X => 더 큰
* commonality 공통점
* sect 분파
* merely = nothing more than, no more than
* byproduct 의도치 않게 생긴 결과물
* behest = request.
# I desperately needed a deeper connection that I had sought to forge within our marriage, but it wasn’t there. It was a need that centered itself in my conscious awareness as I started my residency in psychiatry and discovered myself to a greater depth, and one that I could no longer continue living with unmet. Over the years, my parents had noticed my disquietude within the marriage, but they encouraged me toward tolerance and gratitude. My husband took me traveling, earned a decent living and there was nothing egregious like physical abuse going on, so I ought to be able to love him. My inability to do so spoke only of my own failure, not of an inherent incompatibility between us.
* desperately 절박, 절망, 필사적
* forge 대장간 = form = make // 여러차례, 장기간, 시도 (우정, 사랑에 많이 씀) => 위조하다 (변형)
* need : 필수 / a need : 꼭 필요한 것
* It was a need that centered itself in my conscious awareness
= It was a need that was centered in my conscious awareness
* unconscious awareness 무의식적으로 아는 것 / 본능적으로 아는 것
* conscious awareness 의식적으로 노력해서(살아가면서, 책을 보고, 사람을 보면서) 알아가는 것
* psychiatry 정신과
* one that I could no longer continue living with (one = a need) unmet
* unmet 충족이 안 된 상태로
* disquietude 걱정, 불안
* encourage 유도/ 권장/ 권유
* egregious = terrible 끔찍한
* ought to = should
* speak of = show
* imcompatible 나란히 있지 못하는 => 부부사이에서는 둘이 안 맞는
* inherent = natural / basic 처음부터, 본질적으로, 갖고 태어나는 것
* failure 하자 있고, 문제 있는 것
# In our collectivist culture, the source of my dissatisfaction appeared foolish, and my pursuit of divorce (appeared) self-indulgent. What mattered most was that I was reneging on a commitment, threatening my own and their standing in our Desi community, and throwing my life away — all over the premise that my husband and I didn’t “connect.”
“You’ll be returning all the jewelry they gave you,” my mother said to me as my in-laws walked out. No one had convinced me to change my mind, and everyone was unhappy about it.
* collectivist 형용사/ 개인보다는 집단을 중시하는
* source = primary reason
* self-indulgent 자기 마음대로 하는 것
* indulge myself 탐닉하다 => 하고 싶은 걸 마음대로 하는 것
* renege on me 배반하다, 져버리다.
* commitment = loyalty 약속, 다짐, 변함 없는 마음, 최선을 다하다
* premise 단정 = assumption
* convince 확신 = pursuade
* unhappy 불만 > 불행
# “You’re making the biggest mistake of your life,” my father said. The last time I saw him, my husband looked right into me and said, “You don’t know how to be a wife.” A year after my divorce, and despite the shame of marital ineptitude foisted upon me, I decided to put myself out there again. Yet among my Desi circles, people didn’t see me as quite so marriageable the second time around. When I asked a friend if she knew anyone who might be right for me, she said, “Even my friends who haven’t been married before can’t find someone.”
* You don’t know how to be a (good) wife
* 전업맘 a stay-at-home mother
* a housewife 남편을 중심에 놓고 얘기함
* ineptitude = inability 무능력
* foist = force 나는 인정 안한다 = 강요
# My mother, likely wanting to spare me from disappointment, tried to manage my expectations. “I worry he won’t like you once he learns you’re divorced,” she would say about a prospective match. Her advice was to let men know this scarlet letter up front yet also talk about it as little as possible, a closed chapter that need not be reopened. On my first post-divorce dinner date, the man asked me for more details of my marriage’s demise after our appetizer. “That’s it?” he said, his puzzlement at the absence of drama bordering on disappointment. He then proceeded to share that he, too, was divorced, and regaled me with details about how he found his wife cheating on him at their fivestar resort in Mexico on their honeymoon. We did not meet again.
* spare me [from] disappointment 주다(남은 것), 주지 않다(나쁜 것을 겪지 않게 해주다)
* would ~ 하곤 했었다
* adultery 바람 피는 것 = this scarlet letter
* up front 돈 낼 때는 "선불" = in advance / 솔직하게
* demise = death 죽음, 끝
* boarding on = close to
* proceed to = go on to ~ = in turn 그 다음
* regale = entertain
# Then there was the old acquaintance with whom I had reconnected, who said, “I don’t mind,” granting me approval I hadn’t sought. “As long as you don’t write a memoir or something about it.” There was the man I hadn’t spoken to before meeting, so he didn’t know I was divorced. He was enjoying steak frites when I told him, and he set down his fork, French fry hanging off one of the tines, and said, “It would have been good if you had told me that sooner.” He asked for the check shortly after, and I didn’t see him again.
* grant 주다 (위에서 밑으로 내려주다)
* tine = prong(s) 뾰족한 부분 (포크의)
* dangling from = haning off 달달 매달려 있다
# I tried to withstand my culture’s insistence that I feel ashamed of my divorce, but it wore on me. In my eyes, I had made a necessary, authentic choice. That choice deeply hurt my ex-husband, his family and my family, but the absence of love in my marriage hurt me. Yet time after time, I was reminded that perhaps it was impractical for me to think I could nurture anything new where something had once died. Until I met Mahmoud. The first time he and I talked about my marriage, we didn’t say much at all. In response to the little I did share, he said simply, kindly, “That must have been hard.”
* withstand 저항
* insistence 주장, 한사코, 변하지 않는, 꺾이지 않는 주장
* authentic = sincere 진심에서 우러난
* impractical = unrealistic
* so far 지금까지 / until now 지금까지는
* Until I met Mahmoud 그러다가 나는 그를 만났어요
* kindly 친철 < 배려 => 나를 배려해서
# We had met on Minder (Muslim Tinder — now called Salams), but I remembered his name from when he consulted me about a patient six months earlier, while he remembered me from two years before that when we shared an elevator ride in the hospital on our first day of residency. That day, he had caught my name from my ID badge and asked one of his co-residents if she knew me; she did, and she let him know I was married.
Seeing my profile on a dating app years later caught him by surprise, but it didn’t keep him from swiping right. The next few times Mahmoud and I met, I never tried to erase three years of my life’s narrative to suit his comfort because the fact that I had been married never bothered him. Conversation with him was easy. Yet the idea of marrying him wasn’t. Our connection — the lack of which had seemed to others a frivolous reason to end a marriage — was there. It was life giving. But I had been deemed a person who did not know how to keep a marriage alive.
* a story 이야기, 주장, 삶, 상황 = a narrative
* frivolous 시시한, 별거 아닌 = petty
* life-giving 활력 full of life
* deem = consider
# “If you go for it, don’t mess up again,” my mother said after I told her about him. The shame of being divorced — of having once declared my marriage a failure — had taken root deep within me in a way I had not fully recognized. And so once Mahmoud proposed, I declined. I had thought that divorce would free me from a decaying marriage, and it had, but it had also metastasized into an internalized stigma that was preventing me from allowing a new relationship to flourish. On describing their decision to marry, people often say, “When you know, you know” or “Go with your gut.” I was not one of those people; I didn’t know, and my gut was uneasy either way. If I never remarried, I would never have to go through divorce again; yet if I didn’t remarry, I would lose the person I had come to love.
* go for 선택
* declare 선언 < 공개적으로 얘기하다
* decay 부패, 악화, 무너지는
* metastasize 암이 전이되다 = spread
* internalized = a part of myself 내 자신의 일부/ 뗄려야 뗄 수 없는
* when you know, you know 때 되면 알게 된다 / know = find + 확신
* gut : gut feeling 직감
* go with your gut 마음 닿는대로 하면 돼 <-> go against your gut
* uneasy 불편한
* either way : 어느 쪽이든
# Despite my no, Mahmoud took his chances and stuck around. And I took my chances and eventually said yes. This summer, three years after we married, the two of us and our baby daughter visited my old medical school campus. At one point, we drove by my old condo, where I had lived during my first marriage. Mahmoud slowed the car and asked if I wanted to look around. When I hesitated, he assured me he would be fine waiting for as long as I needed.
* take one's chances 시도하다 (모험/위험), 자신의 운을 테스트해 보다
* At one point : 캠퍼스를 돌아다니던 중 (*한 시점의 느낌)
* condo : 아파트 = 자기 소유 (vs 일반 아파트)
* 둘러보다 look around
* as long as I needed 필요한 시간만큼
# I got out and looked up at the fifth-floor Juliet balcony of my old condo, remembering how it had lacked sufficient depth for me to comfortably sit out there. When I chose my own apartment post-divorce, I made sure it had a lovely balcony. After moving in, I set up a rocking chair and side table and would sit out there nearly every evening, embracing my hard-fought peace. When I got back into the car after only a few minutes, Mahmoud said, “You don’t want to stay longer?” “No,” I said. “I stayed long enough.”
* Juliet balcony : (한 사람만 가능한) 좁은 발코니
* sufficient / enough ~ 하기에 충분한
* a rocking chair 흔들의자
* embracing = welcome = accept
* hard-fought 힘들게 얻어낸